Single And Ready To Mingle?
|March 22, 2011||Posted by Katy under Breakfast, Dinner, Finding Myself, Inspiration, Lunch|
“I have my share of insecurities, hopes and fears.” -Stephan Jenkins
Happy Tuesday everyone! Hope your week has been great so far! Today was actually a fairly good day! The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and I had a pretty successful day in my classes!
I essentially had the same breakfast as yesterday (not intended).
In the mix:
- 1 container 0% Chobani Plain Greek Yogurt
- 1/2 banana
- 4 strawberries
- 1/4 c. multi-grain oats
- 1 tsp peanut butter
My morning classes went pretty well and I had a successful voice lesson!
Lunch was kept pretty simple since I knew that I would be hitting the gym a few hours later.
A veggie wrap with cucumber, spinach, mushrooms, red pepper hummus, and salsa.
At the gym, I did a somewhat difficult interval workout on the spin bike for 45 minutes (16.8 miles). I had some new music on my iPod which made me want to amp up my workout a little. I did a short 15 minute cool down on the elliptical.
Dinner was somewhat ruined by some of the snacking I did after the gym, so I opted for a lighter meal.
I roasted broccoli and tomatoes and served it along with a spinach egg white (although it doesn’t look white in the picture?) omlette. I toped it with this AMAZING salsa sauce I got from Costa Rica (which I will talk about more later this week! ).
Single And Ready To Mingle?
This is something I have thought about writing about for awhile, but wanted to save it for a slow blogging day.
I think I have made it pretty obvious by the lack of “boyfriend/date talk” on the blog that I am very much indeed single. While many of my friends are in long term relationships, I am not. I would say that 99% of the time it does not bother me at all. I have a busy life! School, running, and blogging take up so much of my time that I’m not sure if I have the time to devote to a relationship right now. Sometimes I say that running is the best relationship I could ever have.
But sometimes I find myself…well…lonely. I have only had one “real” relationship and I actually hesitate to call it one. It was the summer after my Freshman year of college and we “dated” for two months and rarely saw each other. When we did see each other, it was only for an hour and we usually just sat in the car and talked. Not much of a relationship, eh?
In high school, I NEVER had a boyfriend…ever. Heck I freaked out when I first found out that a guy had interest in me! I never considered myself the “pretty” girl because I was constantly surrounded by tall, skinny girls with beautiful hair and skin who seemed to have all of the confidence in the world. I was not like that at all. I was average sized, my skin was so-so, and I straightened my hair ALL the time so it was dry and brittle (nowadays I can’t even remember the last time I straightened my hair! ) I was never invited to any parties, never drank, and was not popular at all. My friends practically had to beg a guy to go to prom with me! Sure I had some great friends in high school (all of whom went to other schools) and I consider them to still be good friends of mine.
I turn 21 in less than a month and I find myself with…well…a lack of experience on the relationship front. For the first two years of college, I actually did not WANT a relationship at all! I was stressed with school and guys were the furthest thing from my mind. I also had very low self esteem and never thought guys would ever notice me.
Yes I did have crushes, but I always thought these guys were out of my league! I’m just me…I’m normal! The guys I had crushes on had nice eyes, were buff, and had all sorts of pretty girls hanging all over them. Of course I wouldn’t stand a chance!
Now here I am with over two decades of life behind me. I am over halfway done with college and looking to the future. Yes I am different than I was even a year ago- I have more confidence, I am healthy, and I have goals in mind. But I still have body image issues on a somewhat regular basis (not daily like they were in the past) and I CONSTANTLY compare myself to others.
Whenever I think of my relationship past (or lack there of) I constantly question, “why does it seem that no guys show interest in me?” I don’t think I am ugly… I think there are parts of me that are actually attractive (physically and personality wise). I’ve been told by one of my friend’s that if “he wasn’t gay, I would TOTALLY be his type.” Well as flattering as that comment is, it doesn’t really help me too much!
So what is my problem? Do guys actually show interest in me but I am missing the signs, or are they actually not showing any interest in me at all? Am I just too self-conscious about myself to even see the signs?
I guess I can say that I have seen SOME guys show interest in me… I think. The first time someone shows interest in me I immediately think they are either A) leading me on or B) they feel sorry for me. I know that this isn’t the most optimistic outlook, but looking back on my past, it is completely justifiable (in my opinion).
Right now, I feel like I could have a relationship at this point, but it would take a very special person to accept me. They would have to accept the fact that I am very serious about school, running is a priority in my life and I (try) not to miss a run…EVER. They would have to accept that I take pictures of my food all the time (in public or not) and blog on a daily basis. They would also have to be considerate of my morals (that’s a whole other post in itself!) and be understanding of my insecurities.
I’m not sure if this “Prince Charming” exists, but I am trying to be patient enough for him to come into my life. While it sucks 1% of the time to be single with most of my friends are in relationships, the other 99% of the time I am celebrating life in the best way I can and finding happiness in everything I do.
Did you have a lot of relationships growing up or only a select few? Have you ever had the “single-girl (or boy) blues?” Does the “perfect partner” actually exist?