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Single And Ready To Mingle?

“I have my share of insecurities, hopes and fears.” -Stephan Jenkins

Happy Tuesday everyone! Hope your week has been great so far! Today was actually a fairly good day! :D The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and I had a pretty successful day in my classes!

Breakfast:

I essentially had the same breakfast as yesterday (not intended). ;)

In the mix:

  • 1 container 0% Chobani Plain Greek Yogurt
  • 1/2 banana
  • 4 strawberries
  • 1/4 c. multi-grain oats
  • 1 tsp peanut butter

My morning classes went pretty well and I had a successful voice lesson! :D

Lunch:

Lunch was kept pretty simple since I knew that I would be hitting the gym a few hours later.

A veggie wrap with cucumber, spinach, mushrooms, red pepper hummus, and salsa.

With carrots and 1/2 an apple on the side.

At the gym, I did a somewhat difficult interval workout on the spin bike for 45 minutes (16.8 miles). I had some new music on my iPod which made me want to amp up my workout a little. I did a short 15 minute cool down on the elliptical.

Dinner was somewhat ruined by some of the snacking I did after the gym, so I opted for a lighter meal.

Dinner:

I roasted broccoli and tomatoes and served it along with a spinach egg white (although it doesn’t look white in the picture?) omlette. I toped it with this AMAZING salsa sauce I got from Costa Rica (which I will talk about more later this week! :D ).

Single And Ready To Mingle?

This is something I have thought about writing about for awhile, but wanted to save it for a slow blogging day. ;)

I think I have made it pretty obvious by the lack of “boyfriend/date talk” on the blog that I am very much indeed single. While many of my friends are in long term relationships, I am not. I would say that 99% of the time it does not bother me at all. I have a busy life! School, running, and blogging take up so much of my time that I’m not sure if I have the time to devote to a relationship right now. Sometimes I say that running is the best relationship I could ever have.

But sometimes I find myself…well…lonely. I have only had one “real” relationship and I actually hesitate to call it one. It was the summer after my Freshman year of college and we “dated” for two months and rarely saw each other. When we did see each other, it was only for an hour and we usually just sat in the car and talked. Not much of a relationship, eh?

In high school, I NEVER had a boyfriend…ever. Heck I freaked out when I first found out that a guy had interest in me! I never considered myself the “pretty” girl because I was constantly surrounded by tall, skinny girls with beautiful hair and skin who seemed to have all of the confidence in the world. I was not like that at all. I was average sized, my skin was so-so, and I straightened my hair ALL the time so it was dry and brittle (nowadays I can’t even remember the last time I straightened my hair! ;) ) I was never invited to any parties, never drank, and was not popular at all. My friends practically had to beg a guy to go to prom with me! Sure I had some great friends in high school (all of whom went to other schools) and I consider them to still be good friends of mine.

I turn 21 in less than a month and I find myself with…well…a lack of experience on the relationship front. For the first two years of college, I actually did not WANT a relationship at all! I was stressed with school and guys were the furthest thing from my mind. I also had very low self esteem and never thought guys would ever notice me.

Yes I did have crushes, but I always thought these guys were out of my league! I’m just me…I’m normal! The guys I had crushes on had nice eyes, were buff, and had all sorts of pretty girls hanging all over them. Of course I wouldn’t stand a chance!

Now here I am with over two decades of life behind me. I am over halfway done with college and looking to the future. Yes I am different than I was even a year ago- I have more confidence, I am healthy, and I have goals in mind. But I still have body image issues on a somewhat regular basis (not daily like they were in the past) and I CONSTANTLY compare myself to others.

Whenever I think of my relationship past (or lack there of) I constantly question, “why does it seem that no guys show interest in me?” I don’t think I am ugly… I think there are parts of me that are actually attractive (physically and personality wise). I’ve been told by one of my friend’s that if “he wasn’t gay, I would TOTALLY be his type.” Well as flattering as that comment is, it doesn’t really help me too much! ;)

So what is my problem? Do guys actually show interest in me but I am missing the signs, or are they actually not showing any interest in me at all? Am I just too self-conscious about myself to even see the signs?

I guess I can say that I have seen SOME guys show interest in me… I think. The first time someone shows interest in me I immediately think they are either A) leading me on or B) they feel sorry for me.  I know that this isn’t the most optimistic outlook, but looking back on my past, it is completely justifiable (in my opinion).

Right now, I feel like I could have a relationship at this point, but it would take a very special person to accept me. They would have to accept the fact that I am very serious about school, running is a priority in my life and I (try) not to miss a run…EVER. They would have to accept that I take pictures of my food all the time (in public or not) and blog on a daily basis. They would also have to be considerate of my morals (that’s a whole other post in itself!) and be understanding of my insecurities.

I’m not sure if this “Prince Charming” exists, but I am trying to be patient enough for him to come into my life. ;) While it sucks 1% of the time to be single with most of my friends are in relationships, the other 99% of the time I am celebrating life in the best way I can and finding happiness in everything I do. :D

Did you have a lot of relationships growing up or only a select few? Have you ever had the “single-girl (or boy) blues?” Does the “perfect partner” actually exist?

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25 Responses to Single And Ready To Mingle?

  1. I think what you feel is totally normal. Sometimes, it does get lonely to be single, but you have a great attitude about it. I bet you’ll meet the right guy for you when you least expect it!

  2. I know it sounds totally cliche (and perhaps, because it is), but when you find the person you will spend the rest of your life with, you’ll know it. I met my Fiance when I was 18 and within weeks I just knew. Also cliche, but usually true, you find that person when you least expect it. Keep your good attitude and your morals about the situation! It will happen :)

  3. I totally get how you’re feeling, especially when it comes to a guy respecting your morals. We’re very close in age, and I’ve never been in a real relationship either. The closest I got was dating someone for a month and a half last year, and yeah, that didn’t end well. (I call him my ex, because as much of a jerk as he was, he’s still the closest thing I’ve had to a bf so far!)
    Anyway, I’m trying to focus on school, church, and my friends right now. I know the right guy will come along in time…I just have to be patient.

  4. I’ve only had 4 relationships. Two long and two over a few months. I love being single but I know what you mean about feeling lonely. That being said, be patient but most importantly, be who you are. Be confident, bold but most of all, be yourself. Guys will find it attractive and sexy.

    Though, may I ask, what is your type?

    Mine is the girl next door. Cute, fun, mischievous, a trouble maker and partner in crime, adventurous and has a beautiful smile.

    • I’m not sure if I exactly have a “type.” I’ve been attracted to many different guys…the sweet, nice, quiet ones and the little “rough around the edges”, rugged type. If I had to describe my “perfect” guy it would be someone who is smart and caring, athletic, and isn’t overly clingy (I need my space and I definitely need my time to go out and run/train!). They also must have a sense of humor, be able to take sarcasm (because I can be fairly sarcastic), and be a little spontaneous.

      Maybe a little too ambitious of me to wish for huh? ;)

  5. Oh my little one, don’t you think it’s a little bit early for you to have the “single blues”? :-) This is your best time, you can have fun and enjoy and mingle with all people, both guys and girls. And I know I am not being original here, but best things happen when you don’t pressure and chase after them! Take that from a fellow single gal who really likes her single-ness! :-)

  6. As a guy, I can tell you that I guarantee that there are guys out there that are interested in you.

    Want to know a secret?

    We feel the same way you do. You might think we don’t, but we totally do. You just have to meet the right person and it takes time.

  7. I totally understand where you’re coming from. It’s especially hard for me, 4 years out of college watching nearly everyone I went to school with get married and have babies (sometimes two or three now!) when I’ve never even been on a date.
    I know though that some day, if it’s God’s will, I’ll meet someone. This is definitely not something I want to rush into.

  8. I say just stop looking for it. ;) it always comes to me when I least expect it! :) don’t worry… he’s out there, girlfriend.

  9. I think you are doing all the right things to end up with the right person for you; you are focusing on being positive, your health and your future and that will continue to make you the exact person that you want someone to love!

  10. I was the girl who always had a boyfriend through high school and college. Since I turned 22, however, and I’m 26 now, I’ve been chronically single! Okay, not quite, because I’ve had two year-long relationships, but they lasted longer then they should have because I knew they weren’t for me, but sometimes it’s nice to have someone around. I’ve been dating a lot lately and it almost feels frantic at this point because I do want to find someone, but I want to find the right someone and know he’ll appear when the time is right. And yours will too!

  11. Like you, I am very busy with school! Training, friends, homework, internships & everything else that college students have to face- I also have never been in a “real” relationship but what I have started to do- is let myself go out and have fun. I used to always turn a guy down at the drop of a hat but- now, i’m open for it. When I was injured wearing a brace- I wore a slipper on a date & the guy loved it! Go out with your girlfiends, let loose & have fun- they always come when you least expect it!

  12. You know, I’m pretty much the same way- I’ve only had one serious relationship- but I actually love being single! Most people probably think I’m crazy, but I’m really independent and I really value my alone time. That could change if I met the right guy, but I also have pretty high standards that I refuse to compromise. So, until someone that looks like Leonardo Dicaprio and has the personality to match comes along, I’m perfectly content being single :)

  13. sorry you are struggling with this! where are you going to meet guys? Are you in any clubs, groups, organizations etc?
    I know its no help for someone to say “be patient” or “it will happen” but you just need to keep being YOU, b/c you dont want someone to like you if you are being fake or not yourself.
    My husband puts up with a lot of my siliness/blogging/constant picture taking, and loves me anyway, so don’t lose hope!

    • My problem is that I am so busy with my running and my major that I really don’t have time to be in any other clubs. I do have my sorority, but it’s a bunch of girls! Haha! Most of the guys I hang out with are within the music department, but I consider them to be my brothers! I did meet some new people on my study abroad trip that I plan to stay in touch with.

      I know that one day I will find someone! It’s just not the right time I guess! ;)

  14. you know what, i had the same feelings about you after i got out of an 8 year long long distance relationship. i never thought i’d ever find someone or even believe someone would love me for who i was and all the things i love to do and think about! but you know what, they’re out there and you’ll find them. and ya know what, as taboo as many people think it is, there are always dating services. that’s how i met whit! so hang in there babe; the one will come into your life soon enough :)

  15. I never dated in high school. I was too busy with school and sports for boys! I met my husband in college my Junior year, by accident of course. He was my first “real” boy friend. I say just enjoy your time and you will meet Mr. Right when you are supposed to. :)

  16. I’m pretty sure you described my high school self. I promise you that your Prince Charming will come when you least expect it. Trust me! Honestly, my college major was 80% females, I’m just the “gym bunny” type, and I’ve never loved the bar scene. Chris and I actually met online. And the rest is happily ever after. (o:

  17. Oh yes, the perfect man for you *does* exist out there. I was very picky with who I dated, and it wasn’t until I met the boy I’m dating now that I actually opened myself up to the option of love. And he accepts me just as I am — insecurities, crazy running schedule, total dork and school nerd…anxiety-ridden me… everything! Don’t settle, katie, someone is out there waiting for you…just as you are waiting for them. It will happen!

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